I watched two movies over the last two nights that really annoyed me. The first being Ratatouille and the second being Death at a Funeral. The Rat movie was fun. The idea that anyone can do anything they put their mind to, and with a little love, do it well was a nice concept. The problem with this film is it's for kids who might now think that rats are friendly and loveable creatures that they can make friends with. I'm not talking about "Boutique" Rats, but street rats. One simple search on the internet found five serious diseases transmitted either by rats or the parasites that rats carry around with them. Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS): Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome (HPS) is a deadly disease transmitted by infected rodents through urine, droppings, or saliva. Pleasant to say the least. I don't want any rodent who just might be carrying this virus anywhere near my food. Needless to say, the movie irritated me a little by glossing over this very real danger.
The second movie was Death at a Funeral. Now this movie didn't have any rats cooking french cuisine or making friends with hapless youths, but what it did have was just as irritating. Opening credits. Sweet Jesus. Now I work in the film industry and have for many years and it seems to me, that among the miriad of problems with Hollywood films, lack of imagination being the biggest, opening credits fall at least in the top 10. I can say nothing good about the film itself as it was predictable, un-funny and more than likely an excercise in wasting money. What I can say is this: I don't give a rats ass who the Production Designer was, the Set Decorator or any of the countless number of "Producers" that made this, or any other, film are. Their names do not move the story, and in the case of Death at a Funeral, make it any more watchable. Five minutes of names of people I don't know or care about before a film is just "Ego Stroking Bullshit". If you, and I mean anyone who reads this, want to know who did what on any given film, watch the movie to the end, and then watch the end credits. This is where they put the names of every Tom, Dick and Harry who did anything or nothing to make the film happen.
Now to be honest, I have never worked on a film where my name was featured in the opening credits. And to be even more honest, I don't care. Most of the films we "Film Rats" work on are crap and we don't give a shit what the end product is. As long as the checks clear we are happy campers. Every once in a while, very rare indeed, are the films that mean something to us. As I always say, "I'm not here for the art." I do care who Direct's a film, as that is the one name on the film that might have any bering on weather it is going to be good or not. Any film by Wes Anderson or Tim Burton will get my money.
And so, I put this out there to ALL film makers. Have some balls and put your name at the end of the film. If you have made something good, then the audience will want to see who made it and will stay to the end to find out. Or maybe they wont. Who fucking cares? If people really need to know who the Executive Producers were, let them IMDB.com the film title. You have made your art, and presumably been paid handsomly for it so move on. If you have to put your name at the beginning, then you must know there is something very wrong with what you have made and are worried that no one will stay to find out who the asshole is that made the audience waste their money, like Death at a Funeral. Or maybe you put your name at the beginning knowing that the theatre is not going to rewind to film so we can see who the shitty Production Manager was.
Either way, know that we don't care about you, Costume Designer, we care about the film, and if that film is good, we might just be interested to know your name.
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