There is the Tommy Burger. Not the shit that you can get on Hollywood Blvd. but the original Tommy's which is down near Rampart and Beverly, near downtown. An amazing burger with onions and chili cooked out in the parking lot. A soft bun that melts. Not real bread. Just an amazing taste. In fact, world famous. If you think you have had a Tommy's without going to the original, you are missing out and your trip to LA was a waste of time. Get it with cheese. And their fries are great too.
There is the Jack's burger. Not the new Jack's, but the original Jack's. Original Jack's was at the off ramp for Coldwater and 101 freeway. He cooked the onions and the meat and the bun on the same grill. Messy and oh so good. Jack's had to move to make room, and this is bullshit, for a taco stand, that I suspect people wait in line for because they think it is still Jack's. Fucking morons. Jack's had to move, for whatever reason, to Tujunga and Riverside. I haven't had the burger there, but people tell me it's not as good. I once had a burger at Jack's with Willem Defoe. That's my memory, not so much Willem Defoe, but of the burger being so good that movie stars would sit there and eat them with us commoners. Good fries also, but the burger is the thing to get.
Fat Burger. As far as I know the original Fat Burger is on Ventura Blvd and Beverly Glen in Sherman Oaks. Now, I will totally tell you I could be wrong. No matter. Fat Burger is awesome. Big burgers, with juice and taste that will make you wonder if you ever had a "real" burger before. If you get there, and you don't see it, order the "double fat" and get the "fat fries" with it. Peppery and juicy and yummy. Don't miss it. Also, they have a really cool juke box in every store that just plays oldies. Pretty cool.
There is a place that not many people know about and many will tell you about other places in LA that you can get an amazing burger. But I am here to tell you about the ones I have eaten personally. Bob's Burgers, at the corners of Main and Venice in Culver City. A tiny little hole in the wall, literally, that serves up an amazing burger and some really good fries. There is an In-N-Out across the street, but don't even bother with that crap. Get the burger with everything, and the chili. It will cost you a couple bucks less than the one across the street, and you will be so much more happy for the trip. Don't forget to walk down main street and see the hotel where the "Munchkins" stayed when shooting the Wizard of Oz.
And now for the new favorite. Fathers Office. The chef, has been referred to as an asshole, or a genius. I can't say having never met the man. I do know you will not get katsup here. you will not get mustard. you not get "special" shit if you want it. You will get what is written on the menu and you will like it. It's like the "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld, only with burgers and other amazing stuff. There are about 50 or so beers on tap for you to choose from. There is goats milk and 'rocket' and clams other stuff you probably never tried. Welcome to Los Angeles. Try it all. Trust me on this. And if you get your burger cooked anything more than 'medium', "medium rare" being the preferred, you should just have your teeth removed with a pair of pliers and then suck on salt. Fucking heathen. Medium rare, french soft roll, Gruyere cheese, bleu cheese, rocket (arugula), and caramelized onion make up this amazing jewel. Served with thin cut fries. $12. Don't freak out! Good things cost money and this isn't the fucking Walmart that put all you old fav's out of business bitch. Pay the money, have a beer, enjoy life. For two, with an appetizer, two burgers or other, there are lots of things on the menu, and a couple beers, expect to pay about $70 with tip. I promise you will not be disappointed.
I will describe a bite. It is cut in half. Take a half, the meat is there, you can't miss it. You can smell the onions and the meat. You smell it. Amazing. Look at it. There are so many things going on! The green of the rocket (It give's kind of an earthy flavor), the meat had made the bun a little wet at the bottom. The meat is a little pink and that is good! The onions are like a dark brown color you want to paint your "man cave" and smell sweet. You can smell the bleu cheese, but it's not overwhelming. The bun is still firm but soft, not too soft.
Take a bite. The bun crunches, not too much, then gives way. Suddenly the bleu cheese hits you hard! Like Mike Tyson might hit you in the face, but without biting your ear off or fucking you without your permission! You think, "I don't really like bleu cheese" but then the onions come to the rescue. Sweet and soft. Like something sexy and powerful, a beautiful woman wearing a fur coat and a PETA shirt. They balance the cheese, which is something you didn't expect! Then, that meat! It's real! Like "Bam!" except Emeral the hack had nothing to do with it. It's from a butcher and not from that jackoff at Walmart where you usually get your "corn-fed-antibiotic-addicted-sickly-just-waiting-to-die meat". This is the real shit! You take a drink from the beer that you LET THE BARTENDER PICK OUT FOR YOU! *Very Important* You wonder, "Why does this taste so good? These two things together?" I will tell you. It is magic, your Pastor will make you tithe more next week, and God will make it rain on you, but fuck it will be worth it.
Honestly, it's science, and Jesus envy's you right now. You have just eaten something that the "Wholly Father" might have dreamed about and it was all brought about by a pissed off chef who doesn't like you, and will make sure you don't get any ketsup. That said, if you have ever wanted an "religious experience where the Deity doesn't care what you want or how you want it" you just had one. Enjoy, and don't forget who told you so.
Since it opened, about 1 block from my house, I have been there about once a week. It's a little pricey, but so worth it. It seems to remind me what life is about. Good, ney, Great food, good drink and a moment. The moment is the part I look forward to. When I realize that I might have to sit in traffic because I live in Los Angeles, my house is falling apart because it was built in 1923, and Hollywood is just a big fake dream, just a few steps away is a little piece of heaven. And that makes living here in the worlds most glamorous shit hole, worth something.
Fat Burger. As far as I know the original Fat Burger is on Ventura Blvd and Beverly Glen in Sherman Oaks. Now, I will totally tell you I could be wrong. No matter. Fat Burger is awesome. Big burgers, with juice and taste that will make you wonder if you ever had a "real" burger before. If you get there, and you don't see it, order the "double fat" and get the "fat fries" with it. Peppery and juicy and yummy. Don't miss it. Also, they have a really cool juke box in every store that just plays oldies. Pretty cool.
There is a place that not many people know about and many will tell you about other places in LA that you can get an amazing burger. But I am here to tell you about the ones I have eaten personally. Bob's Burgers, at the corners of Main and Venice in Culver City. A tiny little hole in the wall, literally, that serves up an amazing burger and some really good fries. There is an In-N-Out across the street, but don't even bother with that crap. Get the burger with everything, and the chili. It will cost you a couple bucks less than the one across the street, and you will be so much more happy for the trip. Don't forget to walk down main street and see the hotel where the "Munchkins" stayed when shooting the Wizard of Oz.
And now for the new favorite. Fathers Office. The chef, has been referred to as an asshole, or a genius. I can't say having never met the man. I do know you will not get katsup here. you will not get mustard. you not get "special" shit if you want it. You will get what is written on the menu and you will like it. It's like the "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld, only with burgers and other amazing stuff. There are about 50 or so beers on tap for you to choose from. There is goats milk and 'rocket' and clams other stuff you probably never tried. Welcome to Los Angeles. Try it all. Trust me on this. And if you get your burger cooked anything more than 'medium', "medium rare" being the preferred, you should just have your teeth removed with a pair of pliers and then suck on salt. Fucking heathen. Medium rare, french soft roll, Gruyere cheese, bleu cheese, rocket (arugula), and caramelized onion make up this amazing jewel. Served with thin cut fries. $12. Don't freak out! Good things cost money and this isn't the fucking Walmart that put all you old fav's out of business bitch. Pay the money, have a beer, enjoy life. For two, with an appetizer, two burgers or other, there are lots of things on the menu, and a couple beers, expect to pay about $70 with tip. I promise you will not be disappointed.
I will describe a bite. It is cut in half. Take a half, the meat is there, you can't miss it. You can smell the onions and the meat. You smell it. Amazing. Look at it. There are so many things going on! The green of the rocket (It give's kind of an earthy flavor), the meat had made the bun a little wet at the bottom. The meat is a little pink and that is good! The onions are like a dark brown color you want to paint your "man cave" and smell sweet. You can smell the bleu cheese, but it's not overwhelming. The bun is still firm but soft, not too soft.
Take a bite. The bun crunches, not too much, then gives way. Suddenly the bleu cheese hits you hard! Like Mike Tyson might hit you in the face, but without biting your ear off or fucking you without your permission! You think, "I don't really like bleu cheese" but then the onions come to the rescue. Sweet and soft. Like something sexy and powerful, a beautiful woman wearing a fur coat and a PETA shirt. They balance the cheese, which is something you didn't expect! Then, that meat! It's real! Like "Bam!" except Emeral the hack had nothing to do with it. It's from a butcher and not from that jackoff at Walmart where you usually get your "corn-fed-antibiotic-addicted-sickly-just-waiting-to-die meat". This is the real shit! You take a drink from the beer that you LET THE BARTENDER PICK OUT FOR YOU! *Very Important* You wonder, "Why does this taste so good? These two things together?" I will tell you. It is magic, your Pastor will make you tithe more next week, and God will make it rain on you, but fuck it will be worth it.
Honestly, it's science, and Jesus envy's you right now. You have just eaten something that the "Wholly Father" might have dreamed about and it was all brought about by a pissed off chef who doesn't like you, and will make sure you don't get any ketsup. That said, if you have ever wanted an "religious experience where the Deity doesn't care what you want or how you want it" you just had one. Enjoy, and don't forget who told you so.
Since it opened, about 1 block from my house, I have been there about once a week. It's a little pricey, but so worth it. It seems to remind me what life is about. Good, ney, Great food, good drink and a moment. The moment is the part I look forward to. When I realize that I might have to sit in traffic because I live in Los Angeles, my house is falling apart because it was built in 1923, and Hollywood is just a big fake dream, just a few steps away is a little piece of heaven. And that makes living here in the worlds most glamorous shit hole, worth something.
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